Death of Loved One free essay sample

Even an author of Dynamics of Grief: Its Source, Pain, and Healing said that While the pain of your loss is real and must be felt, there will come a time when you must begin to live your own life again and accepting the death as a reality (Switzer, 1970) First, you need to face the loss because if you keep ignoring the pain, it will bring harm to you. It can be easy to sedate yourself with distractions such as alcohol, oversleeping, and any others habit that threatens your well being and this will leave you to addiction and confusion. You will never truly heal until you confront the loss and what it means to you personally. So, you need to allow yourself some time to hurt deeply but dont allow yourself to get stuck there. Also if you not face the loss, it will bring more serious problems later, including depression, trauma and addictions. We will write a custom essay sample on Death of Loved One or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Even if you are hurting, you also need to start working out how to cope and find resilient pathways through your pain and loss. One of the best ways is by accepting that God loved him or her more. Albom (1997) stated that â€Å"If you hold back on the emotions -if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them -you can never get to being detached, youre too busy being afraid. Youre afraid of the pain, youre afraid of the grief. Youre afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely (p. 37). Second, you can share your feeling with others such as your best friend, your close relatives or counselor. You are suffering and it is okay to seek out people who will take care of you. I have an experience in losing the one I loved which my younger brother. For a month, I grieve and blaming myself because I wasnt there during his last breathe and I unable to seek a forgiveness and forgive. My parents fight all the time because we all cannot accept that he is already gone forever. I also dont want to go home because it will remind me of the memories with him. I keep all the emotions inside; shock, sadness, guilt, anger, and fear. But, thank God, I got this friend that understands me more than myself. She knows that even Im looked happy outside but Im suffered inside. She make talked and cried to let out all the pain that I keep inside. She makes me accept that God loved my brother more, so He takes him to live with Him in heaven. She always beside me to supported and listened. Now I can accept what happened rationally. Im living with the memories of him and I believe one day I will follow him there. My point here is, you need to talk as a sorting action, in that it doesnt need to be coherent or reasoned, it just need to be expressive of whatever need to come up and out of you. Talk to someone you trust in order to allowing yourself the space to think out loud and dumping out some of the pain you are experiencing. Keeping your feeling inside also carries enormous risk because there will come a point where you cant even understand the real feelings to yourself. Other than that, you can distract yourself by getting busy and occupying in tasks that require a different focus. You give yourself a break from constantly ruminating over the loss because too many thoughts going around your head. While work or studies can provide some relief from the constant thoughts about loss, do not simply rely on your routine to distract yourself or you risk feeling that there is only work and sorrow and nothing in between. Help yourself with happier pursuits by doing something that gives you peace. There are all sorts of possibilities such as gardening, cooking, fishing, listening to your favorite music, writing and so on. Choose whatever calms you and gives you a sense of joyful achievement. By distracting yourself, that also gives you the space to realize that there are good things about your world still and life does go on. Perhaps involve yourself with social work. When you involve yourself with other peoples lives, you gain many insights on how to cope better. Consider volunteering as one possibility. If you like children, helping with young children who display lots of spontaneity and laughter may serve to soothe you. Mitch Albom (1997) said that Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, thats all. You cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it Grief works in its own unique cycles, and it varies from person to person. Not everyone will heal right away, and then again, not everyone will be morbidly upset either. Remember that every person feels differently. Dont be worried if you find you are having a harder time healing than another, even over the same loss. This usually shows how close you and the loved one really were. Death ends a life, not a relationship† (Albom, 1997). REFERENCES 1. Switzer, David K. (1970). The Dynamics of Grief: Its Source, Pain, and Healing. Dallas, Texas: Abingdon Pr. Publishing. 2. Albom, M. (1997). Tuesdays With Morrie. United States: Random House Publishing. 3. Albom, M. (n. d. ). goodreads. com. Retrieved May 26, 2013, from goodreads. com Web site: http://www. goodreads. com/author/quotes/2331. Mitch_Albom